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Learning report Lennart Heiner semester 2
In the last learning report of semester one I talked about how I wish I could dive into a subject, work or material more. How I could quickly get demotivated with something and then having a hard time continuing it. While this is still a problem I cope with, in semester 2 of this first year in fine arts I have had moments of persevering and satisfaction. With the 3 sculpture assignment from Sanja, I forced myself (and let myself be forced) to be rigorous with material, size and experimentation in general and the process of making those works gave me back a lot of new fuel to further research the realm of sculpture and as Sanja put it. “painting in space”. Also with the fresh view on things and the immense work ethic of Frans van Hoek I could really dive into a project in Pims “&” assignment for the autonoom teacher swap. This has, to a certain extent, proven me that I actually can be interested and motivated for a bigger, longer project, either on my own or in collaboration. (in semester 1 this was one of my biggest concerns)
In this semester I have also had lower points. In franks painting class I often struggled going further than smaller paintings, experiments or just works that I didn’t put my soul in. While being very interested in Franks lectures and all the artists he mentioned to us, in the practical part of his classes I didn’t explore as much as I would want to. The teacher swap also often didn’t help me dive into an assignment, because the feeling that the teacher didn’t know my way of working, or anything about me for that matter, made it more difficult with feedback.
From the start of this year I have been doubtful whether I should choose painting or sculpture next year. All I know is that I think my way of expressing wouldn’t fit perfectly in autonoom. After talking with teachers and having some as teachers in the swap, I still have a really hard time estimating in what subject I would develop the most. Talking with Femmy Otten and Elly Strik, for example, gave me a lot of excitement to go to painting, since I felt like they were in line with what I do and had a very nice approach to feedback and art in general. This in combination with the fact lots of people say “choose the teacher, not the name of the subject” let me lean slightly towards painting, but after the presentation of my sculpture project and the feedback on it, I am again very doubtful.
Towards the end of this year I suddenly feel more comfortable asking for feedback and showing myself and my work, which I’m very happy about. This gives me hope to become less closed off, which I think will greatly improve me because I need a lot of input, feedback and discourse to keep the motivation and to keep myself busy. I’m excited what next year is going to bring me and I’m hopeful for an increase in intrinsic motivation to keep exploring myself, material, form and feeling.